Roots

by avrillorenzo

2 weekends ago marked the end of a very long chapter in my life : college. Funny enough, now that I’ve started working, I feel like it’s been a long time since I shifted the Sablay from right to left. It was as if I knew this was bound to happen (but when you’re a UP student, you shouldn’t be so sure) that when it did, it really didn’t have such a big impact on me because I was already pre-occupied with adulting. Maybe it was just long overdue that I started the next chapter without this one being finished yet.

I know it’s too early to say, but I like where I’m at right now. I already have a time-table for the latter half of the year. My to-do list is still at page one, but it’s a pretty good list.

Save up 75% of 3 months worth of pay.
Get a place of my own.
Apply for a passport and visas for [insert countries here].
Start with a healthy diet.
(Maybe) Get a dog.
Invest.

It may seem a little ambitious, but there’s no harm in it. If anything, it’s a good thing because you’re motivated. My goals for this year are pretty attainable. The only challenging thing is the one that involves money because I am shit at budgeting and I splurge on food a lot. I’m really excited of where I would be by the end of this year. I can already see how much easier things would be for the family when I help-out every month. I can already imagine how my weekends would be if I have a place of my own. I am so excited to be independent!

So where am I going with this blog? I guess I just needed an avenue to talk about it because I sort of don’t with him. No, it’s not like I can’t talk to him about this. It’s more of me choosing not to talk to him about this because of how he may react. He’s very supportive, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes, whenever we talk about my plans and how excited I get (and I really do get exited because I’ve always wanted to be independent), he feels like I’m moving too fast and he can’t keep up. This doesn’t happen every time. There are just days when he would react this way and apologize and say he just misses me and that he wishes we could spend more time together.

From time to time, I get sweet texts from him about how much he’s happy of where I am and that he’s proud. And sometimes, I get texts of how lonely he feels that we spend less time together now than before. To be honest, I get more of the latter. The whole sitch may sound like a red flag to some, but I’m still not pushing for anything right now. I’m waiting it out to see how this goes.

But here’s the thing : he’s scared of me outgrowing him. Little does he know, I’ve already started. But my roots are still planted on us.