Do You Still Think Of Me?
I stood at the far corner of the room. The flicking of the candle light at my periphery served as my momentary distraction. My escape from the scene right in front of me.. Her.. After more than a year, still glowing in her own light, finally with me in the same room. At least, that’s what I think.
There was somebody else.. She’s with somebody else. The guy that was probably better than me.
The one that deserved her more.
She was introducing him to the rest of our friends. Our friends who believed that we would have made it past forever.
I walked out to the cold streets, with a bottle of beer in one hand. The other is shoved down my coat’s pocket, looking for something to pass the time.. Alas, I find the case. I grabbed one stick and lit it with the lighter after I put the case back in my pocket. I breathe it in and close my eyes.. I let the sensation of smoke fill me when I felt a tap on my shoulder..
“Can I have one?..”
She reached for my pocket and grabbed the case.. She then looked for the lighter.
She let out a ball of smoke and looked relieved..
“How are you?..”
I stared. Why would she care? After all that happened.
It came as a whisper as she bowed her head down, hiding behind her long hair.. Now a curtain to her beautiful face. I threw my stick away and chugged down the remaining beer. I heard a muffled sob and I wished I never came to the party. I cupped her face, urging her to look up at me..
Her eyes that meant the world, now brimming with tears. I hated seeing her cry.. So I closed my eyes and pulled her close by the hand. She seemed to have dropped her stick for both her hands were free to hold mine.
“I wish you stayed. I wish I never reached the point when I’d have to fight.” I said.
“Why? What have you got to lose if you fought?”
“You. But I lost either way.”
I looked at her, looking defeated. She looked back at me, equally defeated. Then, we just stood there. Looking at each other, her hands in mine. After a while, she finally let me go. I hailed a cab and bid her goodbye. I looked out from the cab and saw her still standing there. But she wasn’t alone. She finally had her coat on and her man with his hands on her shoulders. The moment that he touched her, her mood changed. I can tell from a distance that her face lit up. Her eyes brighter and her lips forming to an ever glorious smile. I turned away, feeling the most defeated I’ve been ever since it ended. Recalling my last moments with the her that was once mine made me realize that I really shouldn’t have come to the party. I asked her one final question, the question that made it hard to breathe in anticipation of the answer. I asked her one final question and lost all the hope I had left for her.
“Do you still think of me?”
It was then that she let go of my hands and stepped back.